


Return From Death

by fanwit



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Gen, Withdrawal, at least he seems to be showing symptoms, i know i shipped them at the time, johnlock if you squint i guess, some slurs used but nothing not used in bbc, this can be read as gen tho, this is why you dont quit cold turkey kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-23
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2019-04-26 15:26:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14404995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanwit/pseuds/fanwit
Summary: Sherlock mopes around about being technically dead and is super sad about his life. (Post-Reichenbach, pre-series three)





	Return From Death

**Author's Note:**

> Listen, I wrote this when I was about 13ish and before series three came out. Just thought I'd post this now.

Freak. Psychopath. Murderer. Sociopath. Fake. Dead.

Out of all of the words that he’s been called, the last one has to be the most painful for him. He refuses to admit it, but he misses his only friend. His only friend always had been there for him, even when others didn’t believe in him. But unfortunately, his only friend now believed he was dead.

He shut his eyes, trying to recall life before he had met him. He couldn’t. It was far too dull. He held back tears, squeezing his eyes shut. Caring was not an advantage. He murmured that to himself repeatedly. Caring was not an advantage. But he could remember every detail of their first meeting.

“Afghanistan or Iraq?” That was the question he had asked. His friend had looked at him in amazement. 

“What?”

“Afghanistan or Iraq?” he had repeated. 

Caring was not an advantage. Caring was not an advantage. 

Freak.

Caring is not-

Psychopath.

Caring-

Murderer.

Caring.

Sociopath.

Caring is…

Fake.

Caring is not…

Dead.

Caring is not an advantage. 

Dead.

He was dead. Dead to everybody. Dead to his brother. Dead to his family. Dead to his… To his only…

Friend. He let out a whimper. He missed everybody. While he didn’t want to face that, face the fact that he might be caring for his friends, he had to admit that his friend was different. He was… Better. Better than ordinary. Extraordinary.

‘You could.’

He sighed. He didn’t understand what was going on. All of those mixed feelings. He didn’t understand them.

He was just a highly-functioning sociopath. What could he even do? 

He tried to get the thoughts out of his head. He had to clear up his mind. Move on. After all, he was dead. What could he possibly do next?

‘But it’s the solar system!’

He had memorized the solar system out of boredom. He had tried to delete it, but he couldn’t. 

Forget about it. He reminded himself. Caring was not an advantage. Eyes shut, he reached out for a cigarette. He instantly pulled back. He couldn’t smoke. He wasn’t allowed to. They had agreed to quit cold turkey. No. He was dead. What was the harm? 

He reached out once again. His hand grasped the box. It felt cold. His clammy hands shook as he took out a cigarette. Match. He needed a match. 

No. He couldn’t smoke. He wasn’t-

He pushed the cigarette in his mouth. It tasted horrible. He didn’t care if it was lit or not. He pulled the cigarette out. Smoke. There was no smoke. He threw the cigarette down in disgust.

‘Oh god, yes.’

He buried his head in his hands. He couldn’t get over it. How could he? He was his only friend! 

Caring is not an advantage.

He was a freak. A psychopath. Murderer. Sociopath. A fake. He was dead.

He was dead.

Dead.

How hollow that word suddenly seemed to be. Dead.

He let out a laugh. Dead. He wasn’t dead.

He was alive. He faked his death.

They believed that he was dead.

Well.

He was about to prove them wrong.

He blindly got up. He knocked over the box of cigarettes in the process. He started to bend down to pick the box up. He stopped himself. It wasn’t important. 

He opened his eyes.

Maybe he was a freak.

Maybe he was a psychopath.

Maybe he was a murderer.

Maybe he was a sociopath. 

Maybe he was a fake.

But he was anything but dead.

With a smile, he pushed open the door.


End file.
